Lately

I miss the darkroom at the university. I miss the fact that I could crawl out of bed at 10:30, sleepless, and just throw on a t-shirt and some sweats and go over there and develop until the lab tech went home shortly after midnight. The way I’d covet my shimmery Ilford papers and carry them in that thick black plastic, always terrified I’d forget they were there and expose them.

I miss how I’d almost always be the only one in there developing at night, nothing but the radio that was fixed permanently in the on position, and always tuned to KRZQ. I miss the way I’d have to tug at the enlarger because it was old and heavy and cumbersome. The way the dark was so relaxing, and the smell of the stop-bath that I used to think I hated until I never got to smell it anymore. The way the silver would pull out the image in the tray as I watched it develop, slow and steady. The way I’d wait patiently leaned against the wet counter for the fixer to be done with my print, and how I’d almost always grab the tongs and pull it out before I was supposed to because I couldn’t wait to take it over to the light box and fall madly in love with it.

I miss the way I’d sit on the counter in the supply room, legs dangling off the side, waiting for the prints to dry and trade stories with the lab tech until I had no choice but to leave and go home, prints in hand, careful not to scratch the fragile surfaces. The way I’d lug my old Minolta 35mm SLR into the bathroom the next day, close the door, sit on the toilet seat, flick the lights out, shove a towel under the door so no light would seep in, all my films and canisters, chemicals and tools to feel around for on the counter in the pitch black, developing another roll of black and white negatives so I could go back to the darkroom again that night and print, having what felt like a whole subterranean universe all to myself after everybody else went home.

Posted by tee in de la vida, favorites
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