Hopped in the Jeep and took off in my pajamas to drive around downtown. Did that, got lost, sang, talked on the phone, got mad, got peaceful, two hours later.. found a familiar road and took it home. Poured a glass of water, slid my sandals off, found some socks, wiped out half my bookmarks in less than five minutes, which felt good and violent, found some soft pillows to curl up with and stuck this keyboard on my lap.

There.

Posted by tee in de la vida
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Temporal, but ephemeral. Celestial, but terrestrial. Fluid, but firm. Here, but everywhere. At what point do so many contrasts cease to cause conflict or confusion, and eventually melt into one another and work magically together to give a person what they need?

Nevada was never forever. There was no “it”. My mistake was in assuming anything could be a final, acceptable it. Even here New Mexico. I’m in love. Bad. I’ll spend years digging under its skin and pulling out every grain I can get my hands on. But it won’t be the last thing. There’s still too much out there I haven’t touched. Montana. Chile. Alaska. Nepal. I won’t know it for another six or eight years, until I sit up in bed one morning, look around and feel it again.

So what is it? Is there one single truth I’m out here searching for? Or a multitude of truths I’m trying to fit into a single lifetime?

Posted by tee in wandering
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There’s a fat golden moon dangling over the city right now, identical to one I’d seen in a picture before I came here. I laughed at the time, assuming the photographer for a fake with that unnaturally large, brilliant, crisp, unrealistic moon. Tonight on my way home, as it was rising above the Sandias, I humbly apologized.

Camped out here in our hotel suite, alternating between coffee and Rally Dirt Track Racing video games and reading the newspaper. I looked at 2 adobe homes this week, the one we were planning to take ended up not allowing dogs, so that’s out, and we went back to square one this afternoon.

Posted by tee in sense of place
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i am the science of my
own experience.
one ember floating,
the one you’re pretending
not to chase between the
trees of my own
wildfire.
i’m the single golden leaf
barely hanging on
by autumn,
that falls and drifts
away into the air,
out of reach,
when you accidentally
brush past the branches.

Posted by tee in favorites, verse
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There comes a time, sometime after the dust
of a move settles, when you notice yourself
trying to fit your old life into the new surroundings.
But it’s like trying to shove your foot into an old
boot that’s too old and tattered and tight for what
you need.

New terrain? New boots.
Seems simple enough.

I wanna fly helicopters.

Posted by tee in wandering
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This was last night of the year. Our last night in Reno. We spent it dining and saying goodbye to friends, driving and saying goodbye to old neighborhoods, stopping at the lake to feed Smokey one last time and then watching the fireworks shoot off the tops of downtown buildings from our place by the side of the road. It was a good send-off. We closed our eyes are pretended it was all for us.

all my bags are packed, i’m ready to go
i’m standing here outside the door
i hate to wake you up… to say goodbye.

Posted by tee in wandering
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