Posted by tee in fun stuff
Leave a Comment | Permalink

Tags: music, video

Shane and his mom, Karen, and I walked around downtown last night on her last night here before heading back to California. Stopped at the Wild River Grille for drinks (if you’re ever there, I recommend the River Runner) and chatted in the cool night air by the river. This morning we moved into the new place – sunny, breezy, roomy and comfortable – and are spending the rest of the afternoon settling in. More photos soon.

Posted by tee in de la vida, photos
Leave a Comment | Permalink

Tags: food, nevada, photos, reno

Shane took a few shots when he went over to let the Internet guy in. More here.

Posted by tee in de la vida, photos
Leave a Comment | Permalink

Tags: home, moving, photos

1. Wander aimlessly around the country for, oh, about 15 years, never staying in one house for more than a year or one city for more than three. Potential property managers love it when they have to spend several hours on the phone just to verify your last 5-10 years of rental history. Makes their day go by faster.

2. Ditch the 9-t0-5 scene for a non-traditional, independent career so you can put “self” down in the Current Supervisor field and “just not before 10″ in the Ok to Call? field. Even more effective when this unusual situation is, totally coincidentally, true for not just one but both of you. If they do call, talk about yourself in the third person and offer to draft and fax over a signed letter of recommendation. They love it when you look good on paper.

3. Keep all your stuff in storage far away — preferably way, way far away, say, two states over in Colorado — so that you can say repeatedly that all of that paper the agent is asking for is “currently unavailable”, including bank statements, tax records, previous leases and pet registrations. Best if this conversation is timed right after they call your supervisor and twice as much fun if the agent has not only lived in that one city all her life, but has lived in the same neighborhood all her life, making her so completely able to relate to and understand how this would be a perfectly normal situation to find oneself in.

4. Homeschool your kids, so that when your agent is gushing on and on about how the house you’re touring is in The Best School District you can be completely dismissive and unimpressed, just as your 13-year-old asks from across the room if that’s a “real wood-burning fireplace or a cast-iron, wood stove insert that radiates more heat and thereby saves on energy costs.”

5. Put down on your application that yes, you do in fact have not one, not two, not even three but four pets, and make sure to stress that there are both cats and dogs in that mix so that dog lovers and cat lovers alike can be conflicted about renting to you. When the application asks you to list each breed, don’t forget to write “coyote mix” on the appropriate line. Bonus: if the agent looks up with a cocked eyebrow, say you know this because the 50-lb dog howls incessantly, likes to jump up onto kitchen counters and can easily scale a six-foot fence if he gets a good running start. Don’t be facetious, though, and say he likes to eat cats and small dogs. They don’t like that joke.

6. Get married and then divorced (but NOT to the partner you’re applying for the house with, make sure you’ve both got different last names) and then use your nickname and maiden name in some situations, your given and married name in others (or any other combination), so that when checking your myriad references your agent is guaranteed to get at least two or three people who say they have never heard of you before in their lives.

7. Finally, mention to the agent that you’re interested in possibly buying the nearly half-a-million dollar property after the year lease is up and you’ve settled in, and do it right after you answer the please list the number and type of vehicles you will have at this residence question with: “One 1996 Toyota Tacoma.”

Posted by tee in de la vida, favorites
12 Comments | Permalink

Tags: humor, living, moving, shane, tee

Posted by tee in de la vida
5 Comments | Permalink

Tags: living, moving

More photos from this morning here.

Posted by tee in photos
Leave a Comment | Permalink

Tags: nevada, parks, photos, reno

So there’s this beautiful farmhouse for lease in Sierraville, California – about an hour from Reno and 30 minutes or so north of Truckee. Despite the great price for that much house (and acreage) we really can’t do it for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that it negates everything we decided to stay in Reno for, and because of the large amounts of snow we’d be shoveling ourselves out of every day this winter, and because it’s only available for 10 months and, after the way this move has played out, I really don’t care to do this again for a very long time.

Nonetheless, the prospect inspired this rather catchy, under-the-breath improvisation from me as I moved on to other things:

Wastin’ away in Sierraville
Lookin’ for my lost driveway salt
Some people say that there’s El Niño to blame
But I know, it’s Michael Crighton’s fault…

Posted by tee in fun stuff
6 Comments | Permalink

Tags: california, humor, living, moving, sierraville